The skin peeling discomfort of asking for help
Or detoxing from lone wolfism
Hello you,
I have to ask for help and I hate it.
I’m opening a studio, as some of you may know. Her name is Studio Dreamland and I love her already. Even though she mostly only exists in my mind at this point. But let me tell you, you’re probably going to love her too.
She’s the feeling of standing on the porch in the cool night air, warmly lit by the glow of a party burbling inside. The sensation of peaceful solitude and joyful togetherness held at the same time. She’s a mycelium network of care and collective support. Connecting and intersecting and weaving together. She’s a radical wellbeing studio with a modern mystical shop and an eye to dreaming new worlds into being. I can’t wait for you to meet her properly.
Anyway, back to the asking for help.
See my problem right now is that I can see Studio Dreamland so clearly, and I know it’s going to take a bunch of resources and money and time and support and skills that I don’t possess to birth her into the world. So much so that I can’t do it alone. In fact that’s the whole damn point. If she’s to be a space rooted in community, doing it in lone wolf mode doesn’t really align. Vibes-wise.
But I love lone wolf mode.
Maybe it’s more truthful to say that I’m very comfortable in lone wolf mode. I drank that independent-woman-never-need-anyone-as-a-form-of-self-protection kool aid and it’s hard shit to detox from. I’m a recovering lone wolf but old habits like to spring up from their graves to try to keep you safe when you’re doing something big and scary, it seems. And so when I look at this sprawling task of birthing this studio, my first instinct is to figure out how I’m going to do it all alone.
That way I can avoid the messy discomfort of needing help and being seen in process. That way I can present you the complete and finished product with a cute little bow on. No vulnerability needed! Love it!
Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t really work like that. In fact, trying to lone wolf through this process has been putting me in deep in my freeze response. Like a rabbit in the headlights. My body overwhelmed and shut down, my mind full of snowy TV static.
It’s almost like the spirit of Studio Dreamland has stepped in and is lovingly reminding me that I need to walk my talk. That if we’re going to create a business that challenges and reimagines the culture of disconnection and toxic individualism so prevalent in wellness it needs to have connection and interdependence baked in from the start.
Fine.
So I’m going to ask for help.
Funny thing is, I’ve been in freeze so hard that I don’t actually know what I need help with right now. That’s the next step. Getting back into my body and getting specific so that I can ask specifically.
For now, I’m going to start small. A request for help with training wheels on - if any of this resonated and you also want to build worlds with more connection and care, leave me a comment. Give me a little wave across the vast internets.
Tell me what your relationship to asking for help is like. Is it just me who finds it excruciatingly hard?
Breath Spells – 7pm BST, June 2nd 2024
Oh hey! My monthly breathwork and magic group practice is coming up! It’s hard to explain the quiet magic of these sessions. On paper it’s pretty straight forward - we gather online, we tune in to the things we desire, we breathe and rest together, we have a little chat. That’s it.
But that description is the difference between reading a menu and actually savouring the food itself. Firstly, everyone is a total babe and ‘the vibes are immaculate’ (a literal quote from a participant). Second, we all leave with small spells cast that continue to unfold over the month. That’s the real magic. These really are spells that we breathe into life.
It’s some good shit. Pricing is sliding scale (and there’s a replay). You should come.
One-to-One exclusive offer
Radical generosity has been on my mind lately. I’ve been asking myself how I can bring a quality of bountifullness into my offers (what? it’s definitely a word).
And so I want to play with something and I want you to be get first dibs: if you book a one-to-one session before the end of May, you’ll get a 2nd session free to give to a friend.
One-to-One sessions are a perfect way to have space held just for you. If you’re exhausted, scattered, wired, or generally feeling disconnected from yourself they can help bring you back in. Sessions can centre around breathwork or rest, or incorporate elements of both depending on what you need in the moment.
This is for the first five folks to take me up on it. Just drop me an email and we’ll get everything set up.
Radical Rest Studio
I held a workshop on rest in Hannah Graves’ (aka Cult Mother Tarot) Patreon the other day and ohhhh it was so sweet to help folks slow down, examine why resting is so tricky, and build pillowforts to lie down in. It reminded me that I have a whole free resource about rest that I’ve been slumbering on! Pun fully intended.
If you need some resources and reminders of how to cultivate rest, the Radical Rest Studio is for you. I hope it helps you slow down and put two fingers up to productivity culture by getting radically rested:
The studio sounds beautiful - count me in!
What an evocative description of a space. I hope you get the help you need to build it!