Hello you,
Every so often I forget what supports me.
Ha! Just kidding. Honestly, I forget what supports me all the damn time. I’ll go days stuck in my head, all pent up and spinning out, until my girlfriend gently reminds me that maybe I should take some time to write or breathe or move or rest. And because she’s invariably right, I always emerge, unburdened and reconnected, exclaiming the magic of these things I practice.
Even knowing that, my practices are in a constant ebb and flow. Like the tide swelling and retreating.
There are chapters in my life where practice feels natural. Easy. Where my practices are just part of the rhythm of my day. There are times where I manage to cultivate long hours to sit and write at my altar, to do ninety minute breathwork practices, or move my body until everything that wants to be expressed has come through.
And then there’s times like right now.
Right now the tide is out. Everything feels like so much effort. I moved house nearly three weeks ago, just before Spring Equinox, and I’ve not yet found my rhythm in this new house, new city, new season. It means that everything feels like a lot of effort to get going. Even though I know I will feel better if I do get going.
And I’ve been beating myself up about it. Getting frustrated that I’ve wandered away again. Why can’t I just commit? What’s wrong with me that I can’t be consistent? I know what I need, why can’t I just do it?
But the thing is, I’m not build that way. Consistency might feel great for some but after some 20+ years of practice I’ve come to know that the wandering away is just part of the process for me. Rhythm requires silence, the tide needs to go out. Instead of chastising myself for some way I imagine I’m supposed to be, what if I let myself be how I am?
Sometimes that looks like letting go of all practices entirely. Sometimes it looks like where I’m at right now, where I play with coming back and beginning again. Taking tiny tiny actions to reconnect. Letting go, as best I can, of the story that my practice needs to look a certain way, or be a certain length of time, to count. Everything counts.
And so, right now my practice looks like:
+ chasing the sun across my bed as it beams through each afternoon, sometimes this includes a nap
+ cuddling up with my girlfriend and going to bed early
+ reading gay romance novels in the bath
+ a handful of intentional breaths scattered throughout each day
+ peeking through my bathroom window to watch my neighbour’s magnolia tree blossom riotously
+ walking the streets of my new neighbourhood and meeting all the local cats
+ seeking out cute cafes. Maybe I’ll write, maybe I’ll just sit and daydream
Tell me what you’re practicing right now? I want to know what’s making you feel a little more connected to yourself and the world around you. Everything counts.
What’s on
Breathwork
I’m finishing up my training this month, which means that I’m offering one-to-one sessions at half price until end of April. Want to clear out some stuckness and step into spring with more clarity and presence? This is for you!
There are also spaces left in the two breathwork groups I’m hosting this month. These are spaces held for you to come home to yourself. All of you is welcome here. Groups are on April 20th and 29th, and are pay-what-you-can with half the proceeds being donated to The Outside Project, an LGBTQ+ homelessness charity
One-to-One Embodiment
I have a couple of spaces open for one-to-one embodiment guidance. This is a 6-month programme, co-created between you and I to be a space where you can reconnect with your body, your intuition, and your power. If you’re looking for a personalised container to support long lasting change and growth, I’d love to speak with you
Other Things
What’s been sparking for me this month
If you need me I’ll just be listening to boygenius’ new album. On loop. Forever.
My paid subscription babes have been hanging out with The High Priestess in all her intuitive glory this month. Come join the circle to get access to Embodying the Tarot
This made me laugh-cry. God bless the 70’s when the first pitch solution to all problems was blowing it up with dynamite
I’m cautious of the prescriptive and perfectionistic vibe of this corner of the breath world but I also enjoyed this article about functional breathing and trauma/chronic stress
Have we talked about my obsession with Irish artist Bebhinn Eilish before? I might want to cover my whole house in her sheela-na-gigs and sapphic babes
I made a veganised version of these cookies the other day and oh fuck they are so good. Just don’t eat them for dinner or you’ll make yourself feel sick. Don’t ask me how I learned this
Anne Helen Petersen has been living in my head rent-free with these two great articles: the tyranny of faux self-care and why are white men so unambitious?
You know how I said my practice rn was reading gay romance novels? It could be yours too!
Oh hi, Luisa! Thank you so much for your kind words, you made my day 😊 I’m delighted that you’re finding the podcast supportive and delight to connect with you here x